Every now and then it is suggested that the Bible's 10 Commandments be put up in our schools to help students keep their moral bearings in difficult times. Some say that this is wrong because it is favoring one religion over others, something forbidden to public entities in the United States. Jef rereads his Bible, learns much that he didn't know, and finds a quite different reason.

OFF-THE-WALL COMMENTS ON THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

Our highly esteemed American Congress, never one to let practical needs stand in the way of symbolic gestures, occasionally considers legislation that will permit displaying the Old Testament's ten commandments in classrooms. The idea is being promulgated on the claim that were these precepts widely posted, the tragedy at Littleton, Colorado, and other incidents of violence in our schools might have been prevented.

To make sure that I remembered the commandments correctly, I started by opening my Bible to Exodus. I first reread Chapters 19 and 21 for context. Chapter 19 is where God told Moses to let the people wash their clothes (A lot of kids are glad that that's not an Official Commandment). In Chapter 21 it was comforting to learn under what conditions you are to take your slave and "bore his ear through with a hand drill".

I must have been asleep when that rule was taught in Sunday school.

Having learned that God approved of body piercings, I proceeded on to the commandments in Chapter 20. It is touching to see how God takes every opportunity to remind us of what he has done for us. "I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt." And, like a Superbowl team, he's number one: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." I didn't even know there were other gods. We'll skip the prohibition against making "any likeness of anything that is in heaven above or that is in the earth beneath." because only the Muslims follow that commandment, except that they are allowed to have large posters of religious and political leaders.

God then teaches us how to carry on a feud, namely by "visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation." Without this kind of rule we'd never have had the Hatfields and the McCoys, or the Montagues and the Capulets, to say nothing of the Serbs and the Croatians. I am sure that the mutual visitings of iniquities in the Holy Land pleases Him.

Our culture seems to have difficulty keeping another commandment, which begins, "remember the Sabbath." The Muslims remember that the Sabbath is Friday, the Jews remember that it's Saturday, and the Christians recall that He said Sunday. On the Sabbath you are not supposed to work, or let your cattle work, nor may strangers lift a hand to do the work for you (nothing is said about the people employed at Safeway).

But on to the next and most relevant commandment. Would putting "thou shalt not kill", up in schoolrooms have stopped the school massacres? Of course, says the congressmen sponsoring the legislation. In fact, putting it up in jury chambers would eliminate capital punishment and displaying it in the Pentagon would put an end to war. Just like that.

The commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" belongs more on the walls of congress than the schools, yea, and even unto the White House. Put "Thou shalt not steal" over the lockers in the school hallways and we can throw away the locks. Put "Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor" up in courtrooms and the courts would wither from lack of dispute. Let there be a law that advertisements for upscale condominiums and luxury autos and fancy furniture and sixty-inch wide televisions must carry the words "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."

The Bible goes on to lay down a few more rules that are not considered part of the Big Ten (in fact, not all religions or even all Christian churches agree on just which are the Big Ten), but who would dare say that one of God's rules is less important than another? You are supposed to make a pile of earth and there sacrifice burnt offerings, sheep, and oxen. They follow that commandment in Texas, I think, with the aid of barbeque sauce and beer. Here's an important one: If you make an altar of stone, use the stones just as you find them because hewn stone will pollute the altar. This should hang in architectural offices.

The 20th chapter of Exodus ends by commanding us not to have steps leading up to an altar, because people might be able to look up your robes and see that you are naked underneath. It really says that. Did God forget to command underwear?

The Ten (more or less) Commandments were established by the Jews, and then adopted by the Christians and Muslims. They contain religious precepts along with the pragmatic proscriptions, which is why the United States Supreme Court has already ruled that the commandments are a religious tract and may not be displayed by public institutions.

The court was right, but gave the wrong reason: We flout so many of the commandments on a regular basis that putting them up in the schools would be more a lesson in hypocrisy than in morality.