Warning
Thank you for purchasing your new Supersorbent Sponge. It is the finest sponge
on the market, and is guaranteed against defects in workmanship and materials
for a period of 15 days from purchase. In case such defect is found, manufacturer
will repair or replace, at its option, the sponge. Manufacturer's obligations
are limited to such repair or replacement if the sponge is returned via certified
mail to the address given below along with the original dated receipt, UPC code
from the package, and a notarized declaration that the sponge was used in accordance
with the provided instructions.
A SPONGE IS INTENDED FOR ADULT USE OR USE BY CHILDREN UNDER ADULT SUPERVISION;
MISUSE CAN RESULT IN DESTRUCTION OF OR DAMAGE TO THE SPONGE OR OTHER HOUSEHOLD
OBJECTS, AND CARRIES A RISK OF DISEASE, INJURY, OR DEATH TO THE USER. By opening
this package, you agree to read the following in full and further agree to consider
this enclosure as a binding contract between you and us and to abide by its terms.
The manufacturer does not assume liability for the misuse of this sponge, or any
contingent liability whatever, and its liability in any case is limited to the
purchase price of the sponge. Even if negligence or other malfeasance is proven
you agree to hold manufacturer harmless. You may have other rights. A sponge is
inherently unsafe, and cannot be made safe if it is to fulfill its intended purpose.
While a sponge may be useful in cleaning and removal of spills, no representation
is made that this particular sponge will do so under any circumstances or theory
of merchantability, since the nature of its use is outside the control of the
manufacturer. Read and observe all warnings on this label and avoid misuse of
this sponge whether or not such misuse is described herein. If you cannot read
English, versions of this warning in other languages are available by writing
to the manufacturer.
Do not eat the sponge: this can cause choking and possibly death. A sponge is
necessarily full of small holes and ramifications thereof wherein bacterial and
viral microorganisms may accumulate or grow ; a sponge cannot be manufactured
without these interstitial openings: reuse of the sponge without sterilization
can cause the spread of disease, including possibly fatal or incurable disease
and/or rancid or unpleasant odors; and it may acquire abhorrent tactile qualities.
If allowed to dry out and used on the assumption that it is still damp, a sponge
can cause abrasions and hair loss. A sponge is capable of absorbing hot water,
and can effect burns if applied to the skin or internally when hot. If made pliable
and placed firmly and simultaneously over the oral and nasal openings, a sponge
can cause asphyxiation. This sponge is resistant to most chemicals, however many
chemicals the sponge can absorb can cause damage to furniture or other personal
property, real estate, plants, pets, and people. Do not use the sponge to absorb
flammable fluids prior to placing the sponge in proximity to open flame, spark,
or other source of ignition. This sponge is not certified for any medical use,
internally or externally and is not to be placed in the anal, oral, vaginal, or
other bodily orifices or used in the ear canal. This sponge is not to be used
in surgery or other medical procedures. Repeated squeezing of this sponge alternated
with dipping in water, if that squeezing is done over a person confined in a nearly-closed
vessel, or if the person is comatose, bound, or otherwise restrained or incapable
of movement and in a container sufficiently deep, can result in drowning. If filled
with a conductive substance and placed across an electrical outlet or other source
of electrical potential, the sponge can cause shock or electrocution, or become
overheated and start a fire that may in turn cause injury, property damage, or
death. May become radioactive if left near the core of a nuclear reactor or in
the exit beam of a synchrotron or other particle accelerator; radioactivity can
cause anemia, cancer, or other harm and may make you glow in the dark. The manufacturer
is not responsible for repetitive stress injury or tendinitis due to use of this
sponge in rubbing persons or objects, while it is being wrung out, or its repeated
use as a squeezable object in physical therapy. If saturated with water, frozen,
and dropped from a high place, thrown, or fired from a slingshot, gun, or other
device, or tossed from a moving vehicle or aircraft, a sponge can cause injury
or death due to trauma; it can also cause damage to windows or other friable property
upon impact. If used to apply paint or other colored substances to canvas or any
suitable surfaces in an artistic pursuit, the manufacturer guarantees neither
the aesthetic quality of the result, nor the market value of the work of art thus
produced. Applying markings by sponge to public property or private property you
do not own may subject you to arrest and detention by the police which may result
in psychological stress, injury, death, fines, and/or loss of income and conjugal
rights during said detention.
Hypoallergenic. Made of 65% post-consumer recyclables. No animals used in testing.
Low Sodium. No cholesterol. Do not read this label while driving.
Jef Raskin 31 Jan 1997
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